What tips can you give to an evil tyrant in training?
1. Be merciless. Always. Show the slightest bit of softness, the slightest inkling that there’s a blotch of white on your black soul, and it will be your undoing.
2. Never let those around you, friends, foes, and underling vermin, forget for a second what you are capable of. You are their god, and they should always have that in mind. Demonstrate this as much as needed, and more.
3. Have fun. Don’t go slunk off to your chambers and brood about how horrible you are. That just leads to depression, which leads to guilt, which leads to a conscience, which leads to the end of your tyranny. Enjoy every single second of your damnable deeds.
Lord Frieza, I am honored that you have graced my blog with your presence, but I feel I must ask why? I hope you dont mind the question, but even I admit that my blog isnt really the most impressive one out there.
You clearly know your machines, and i need that kind of information. I look forward to your next report.
(Okay, to be honest, I kind of have a “you watch me, I watch you” policy for this place. Mutual advertising, as it were.)
Lord Frieza, you sure are following a lot of ponies on tumblr. Is there something you'd like to tell us?
W-what? What are you implying? That I’ve gone soft? That I have a weakness for those technicolor, bright-eyed little pack mules? O-of course not! I’m just, erm, watching them so I can plan my next move! Gathering intelligence, as it were.
I am most certainly not affected by their adorable little antics. not one bit.
Knowing you, you'd probably blow it up. So if you're going to take your anger out on anyone use me, but keep my people out of this.
Fine, but I’ll remember this. And when my empire stretches out to engulf your world, I’ll hunt you down myself and make you watch as everything and everyone you’ve ever loved burns in the fires you could have put out had you just answered one. Simple. Question.
I bet you were pretty peeved that it was a Saiyan Monkey and a Namekian that forced you to go to your ultimate form, and that even that wouldn't destroy them. But, in hindsight, you were doing pretty good before you impaled that Namekian and killed the bald one. Had neither of those happened, the Saiyan wouldn't have transformed and you would have won.
Peeved…Yes, that’s one word for it. Thank you bringing that back up.
Even an omnicidal maniac such as yourself must enjoy the simple pleasures of life. So tell me, when you're not out killing or genociding, what do you like to do?
Well, when it’s all said and done, and the corpse of whatever cretin race I’ve slaughtered are burning in a pile, I like to sit back, get a glass of wine, and let myself be engulfed by the music of my people’s greatest composers, which I have taken the liberty of adding the occasional scream or explosion to go along with the rhythm.
*shrug* Kay, I'm bored, I'll just tell you. I'mm "technically" immortal, because as a part of the royal family, Hades, god of Death, is my uncle. So I can just ask really nice, and as long as I haven't died due to old age, he'll probably bring me back.
So what you’re saying is that, if you die, you can just come back?
Well, it looks like we’re on the same page then. Do you know how many times I’ve clawed my way out of death? And I did it all without having to ask your uncle politely!
Typewryter: Mostly because of the fact that I regularly deal with Elder gods. And they are exponentially more powerful than you. I mean like, the weakest among them, Great Cthulhu, their high priest, is about as strong as you. Their strongest, Azathoth, is at the center of the universe, held in a seizure by holy and blasphemous noise. If it stops for even a billionth of a second, he wakes up, and the universe is destroyed. Instantly. There are far more powerful things to be afraid of than you, Frieza.
Me? Oh, not much. My spells all pertain to literature. The only offensive spell is a light/sound stunning spell, similar to Krillin's solar flare. Of course, I have access to the Azoth of Azanotheth. So there's that.